It would be really easy for me to sit here and list a bunch of people I am thankful for. I could make the list longer by being thankful for all the things in my life that make me very lucky. But I don’t need to remind myself of that today because I think about it all the time.

What I would like to do is talk to you about an amazing organization called Feeding America. I know it can be hard to imagine, but there are people here in America, where we feel we have so much, that are hungry. People are unable to have the Thanksgiving feasts that we are having on this day. 1 in 6 Americans! And there are a lot of us!

Feeding America is doing a great thing and making it really easy to donate. For as little as $1.00, you can feed 8 people. $1.00 for 8 meals. Can you even believe that? Now, imagine $5.00. Now math isn’t my strong point but I believe that equals 40 meals. I know a lot of us won’t miss $5.00 and donating such a simple amount would mean so much to so many people. You can even set it up so every month, you’re donating any amount without having to think about it.

Our donations can change a person’s life, even if its just for one day.If you’re reading this with a full stomach, think about how many people out there today aren’t going to be able to eat at all. It really changes you.

If you’ve seen more posts like mine today, you have Megan to thank. This move for change is her baby and you can read her post about it here.  She’ll even give you a Starbucks card for donating so go find out how!

I’ve been a blogger for a long time. I’ve shared my words because I wanted them to be out there. I haven’t done this for much personal gain, mostly just because I usually enjoy it once I get going. I’ve watched friends be approached by amazing companies, seen them given great opportunities, and knew that because they were dedicated to their writing, they were awarded as such. I shrugged it off because I just didn’t care that much, for me anyways.

When I went to Chicago for my first BlogHer, I left disappointed. It’s silly why but I’m going to tell you anyways. I wasn’t “recognized”. I went and I surrounded myself with all these amazing women who I had been dying to meet, with my friends who I enjoyed spending my time with. One by one, some random blogger would come up and “recognize” them. “Oh you’re so and so! I LOVE your blog!” That didn’t happen to me at all. I was afraid of it not happening again in NY. I dodged that bullet but it makes me hesitate,  still.

I’ve started throwing around the idea of writing more, getting myself out there more, thinking it could benefit me in the long run. It’s almost like when I changed my way of thinking, I started getting invitations to events. (is that how it works? wow) The first two came from my very good friend Lex, who I love and adore. I won the opportunity for me and my son to see Judy Moody in a special screening. The event started at 4:00 in Hollywood, with the movie not starting until 4:30. I knew I would make it to the movie, if I moved heaven and earth. I managed, and we made it and my son loved it.

The reason I had to move heaven and earth? I got off work at 3:30. I work about 30 miles from Hollywood. But I also had to go and pick up my son. If my dad hadn’t met me between our house and Hollywood, bringing him to me, we would never have made it. The second event was on a Sunday so getting there was not an issue.

Tonight, I had to write two emails that started off with “I’d love to be there but…” Both events started during or shortly after I got off of work.

Let’s get one thing clear, in case anyone is confused. I love my job. I love that I have my job. I need my job. I’m also saying nothing negative about mom’s or dad’s who are able to stay home or for other reasons, attend these events. I envy them.

I just wonder when companies, and PR companies that work with them, are going to realize that there are those of us that don’t stay home, that can’t leave work early, but who also really want to be at events like these. I see blogging groups holding lunch events, companies that launch products during regular work hours, or even holding day long things for parents and kids and knowing that I won’t be able to take my son to it because I’ve got to make sure I work enough hours to pay our bills.

Do they realize there is a whole untapped group of us working moms who would love to work with them too? We may work full time outside of the home, but we are here too. We’ve got blogs, we’ve got twitter accounts, and we’ve got facebook pages. And guess what, we have readers and relationships with those readers too. Don’t forget about us because we can’t come out and play from 9-5 or jump on an airplane in the middle of the week to talk about your product or tour your businesses.

I know life isn’t fair sometimes and sure, events will come up that we can go to but they are few and far between. I know I should be grateful to even be invited and I am! I just wish I could say yes more often than I say no.

I have to start by saying thank you to everyone who read my last post. It hurts my heart to see, as a result of it, some people sharing their own stories. But that is part of raising awareness. Abuse is real, it’s out there and it would be wrong of us to turn a blind eye.

Which brings me to today’s post.

There are a lot of people in my life that don’t know about the extent of my abuse. My family is one group of people. That might be surprising to hear, but its true. I’ll try to explain the best I can.

During this time in my life, I did not reach out. It wasn’t because I was afraid that they wouldn’t help me, I knew that they would. It was because I was ashamed. I knew that it wasn’t my fault it was happening to me, but I felt that it was my fault that I let it happen. Does that make sense? In my head, I allowed myself to be treated like this and I did nothing about it. I knew how wrong it was, but I let it continue for as long as it did.

When I talk about it now, much like I did in my last post, I am very matter of fact about it. I can read those words, those details, and not flinch. It happened to me. That was my reality. It is what it is. Sometimes I forget that it can be shocking to read. The reaction it evokes is very powerful. As he told me this morning, after I had stated that I thought I had told him about my abuse, “Told and detailed are two different things.” I had to think hard about that because on some levels, it brought back that shame. The thought that he was angry with me ran through my head for a second but then I thought about it harder and realized that he was right, hearing me say “I was in an abusive marriage” and reading the explicit details I shared really are two different things. Nothing can prepare a person for something like that. When I told my cousin’s for the first time, they wanted to leave right then and there and kick his ass. I actually had to talk them out of it. They were shocked and angry. And they had every right to be.

I have been told very often (more than I wish were so) that people who are in difficult marriages have trouble telling other people, specifically family and close friends. Because I can so closely relate to this, I understand that. I don’t know if there is a specific answer that can help them but I can say this:

If you know someone who might be in a dangerous relationship, or is struggling with their marriage (even if its a rough patch, they happen), I urge you to talk to them. If they haven’t come to you about it, please just let them know that you are here for them, with no judgment. They may have tons of family and friends, but they may also feel so alone with no one to talk to because they feel embarrassed or scared. You might be saving their lives or their sanity, just by offering to listen.

If you are a witness to physical abuse however, as tough as a place that is, you HAVE to report it. They may hate you for it, but in the long run, they will thank you. It can never be said when “that time” might be the last time. Make the call anonymously if you feel you have to but just make the call. PLEASE.