So the other day, I was happily stuck in a Pinterest worm hole, as most of us tend to be when on that site, and I came across an interesting pin that was titled “30 Questions to ask your spouse“. I’ve found that a lot of pins like this tend to incorporate some kind of Bible verse or something similar and that just isn’t my bag of chips. I opened this one and found a list of 30 questions that seemed pretty interesting. Since I feel connected to my not yet spouse, I thought, “hey, I can blog the shit out of those!” which was a weird thought to have since I haven’t blogged in…. 4 months.

I lost that loving feeling people.

It happens to the best of us ok? It happens to me a lot. Blogging expectations that I put upon myself with no pressure from anyone else is really stressful! Actually, I just don’t care all that much but I do miss writing and sharing and in regards to the promise I refuse to make? It means that I might use this space more. If I feel like it. Don’t get your hopes too high and stop looking at me like that.

I’m not that blogger who has every post sponsored and I don’t want to be. I wouldn’t turn down sponsored work but I want to leave my footprints here too. So if you see a post that someone paid me to write, deal with it or get on. If no one ever reads this, that’s ok too. When I first started blogging, people reading me wasn’t the point. So I feel like I came full circle because I’m back to just not giving a shit if this gets read or not. I just want to talk about things, people, and places that I love. And I don’t like Tumblr all that much so here we go.

Here’s the list of 30 questions:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I probably won’t answer them all. I’m not even going to start from the top. And I didn’t even know that I have a love language so I need to google that or something before I answer that one. I just think that the answers to most of these questions are constantly changing for all of us and I know I’m not the same person I used to be. In fact, I think I’ve changed so much in the last few years. I feel like my online personality has changed, I was afraid to be me when it was me that people liked. I stopped being raw and honest and I want to get back there. Because, damn. I liked me before and I like me now and maybe some of you will too. I’m not here to kiss any ass or make people like me. I’ve got an abundance of genuine relationships in my life and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. I’m just interested in what I might even learn about myself by answering these questions. And sharing a bunch of other junk along the way.

Join me?

Questions borrowed from here.

It would be really easy for me to sit here and list a bunch of people I am thankful for. I could make the list longer by being thankful for all the things in my life that make me very lucky. But I don’t need to remind myself of that today because I think about it all the time.

What I would like to do is talk to you about an amazing organization called Feeding America. I know it can be hard to imagine, but there are people here in America, where we feel we have so much, that are hungry. People are unable to have the Thanksgiving feasts that we are having on this day. 1 in 6 Americans! And there are a lot of us!

Feeding America is doing a great thing and making it really easy to donate. For as little as $1.00, you can feed 8 people. $1.00 for 8 meals. Can you even believe that? Now, imagine $5.00. Now math isn’t my strong point but I believe that equals 40 meals. I know a lot of us won’t miss $5.00 and donating such a simple amount would mean so much to so many people. You can even set it up so every month, you’re donating any amount without having to think about it.

Our donations can change a person’s life, even if its just for one day.If you’re reading this with a full stomach, think about how many people out there today aren’t going to be able to eat at all. It really changes you.

If you’ve seen more posts like mine today, you have Megan to thank. This move for change is her baby and you can read her post about it here.  She’ll even give you a Starbucks card for donating so go find out how!

When I first started reading blogs and blogging myself, the internet was a different place. I stumbled upon blogging, mostly by chance. I found new blogs by the comments left on the blogs I was reading and by blogrolls (which I think people still actually use.) My first blog listed my favorite reads and what I considered my “network” on the left side column. That was it. That’s how it was done.

A lot of those bloggers still blog, some by different names, some by the same. Some are still very much in my life, see my BFF there at the bottom? We had just become friends. That was over 3 years ago.

3 years ago, I was a regular commenter on these blogs and they on mine. At the end of that blog, that list should have been much longer as my network had grown because we were just being introduced to social networking. Facebook, Plurk, Twitter, even MySpace; these were all new and you know what we did on them? We talked. We shared photos and laughs and had fun together.

Oh blogging, how you’ve evolved.

See back then, we would connect, add each other’s blogs to our blogroll or our reader and that was that. Then we engaged. Now my reader has over 1000+ unread items, I have no blogroll, and when I end up reading someone’s newest post, it’s because of a link on twitter or Facebook. I’ll be honest, I read and leave. 9 out of 10 times, I don’t comment.

I’m a terrible blogger. The concept of personal blogging is slowly dying and I know there are people out there who hate this. While I happen to be one of them, I haven’t done anything to change that. Until now.

I want to be a better blogger. I don’t think that only writing here every day will do that. I believe there is more to being a blogger than just sharing what you’ve got and expecting people to read it and talk about it and share it. I used to respond to every comment I received. I haven’t done that in awhile. I used to comment on blogs. I used to share the good stuff I was reading.

I miss all of that.

So here’s what I’m proposing: Better Blogging.

I don’t think its a terribly hard concept but I know I’m going to have to push myself to do it. Some ways I’m going to try and be a better blogger:

• Read more blogs and actually comment.
• Clean my reader out. There are so many in there I don’t even LIKE (and yes, there are bloggers I don’t like. Guess what! It’s ok. It’s ok to go against popular opinion and dislike someone. Since meeting some bloggers in real life, I’ve learned that some people are downright nasty IRL and basically, that makes me not give a shit about their blogs. Some are still sitting in my reader so, bye bye). I’m going to put new blogs in my reader and make an active effort to read them and comment.
• If I see something I like, I’m going to share it. If I comment on it, I’m going to share it. I’ll share it on Twitter and probably my Facebook page. I’ll tell you why you should read it.
• I’m going to start with about 5 blogs a day, with at least one new blog I’ve never read before.

This is going to take work and effort. Is it going to pay off? I have no idea. Am I doing it to get more readers? Partly. Honestly, I just want to start connecting again. I love the relationships that blogging has brought me but my twitter stream is tired. I feel like I’m in a small town and it’s the same stuff over and over. I feel like branching out and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

So. Is there anyone who wants to join me? Is there anyone you think I should be reading? Is there anything that you have posted lately that you really think I should read?

Let’s hear it.

I saw a quote on twitter the other day that absolutely stuck with me:

This is the truth. It can’t get any more clear than this. I am strongly of the opinion that if you disagree with this, you don’t have or have not experienced (currently or in the past) a healthy sex life.

There’s nothing else like it.

I’ll be the first to admit that having 3,000 miles between you and the love of your life doesn’t exactly constitute a healthy sex life. Because let me tell you this: I MISS AIR.

Because lets face it, we all need air to live.

Even with the distance, I survive. How you ask?

I consider EdenFantasys my oxygen tank.

Have you visited EdenFantasys.com lately? If you’re reading this and blushing, you need to click over RIGHT NOW. Don’t let the sex toys on the front page scare you. THEY CAN BE YOUR FRIENDS. Trust me on this.

If vibrators scare you, don’t close that window just yet. EdenFantasys offers so much more than just vibrators. You can find some really fun lingerie and costumes, erotic movies or books, and even party favors and gag gifts. In addition to all the fun stuff they sell, they offer reviews on pretty much everything on their site.

You can be single or married and be able to find something you’ll enjoy. Trust me when I say that EdenFantasys has something for everyone. If you think for any reason that your sex life (or in some of our cases, lack of) is missing anything, jump on over and start browsing.

Now if you’ve browsed a bit and found something that you just can’t live without, I’m happy to share a 15% off coupon code, special for my readers. Just enter MISSBLOG at checkout and you’re set! Orders over $59 get free shipping so go have some fun shopping. Personally, I’m saving up for a WeVibe and that coupon code is going to come in handy!

If you’ve shopped and feel like sharing, let me know what you grabbed!

Coupon code expires at the end of September so head on over and get ready for some fun!

It’s a Blog Hop! Because when Nic says hop, I say “ok fine but I’m doing it because I want to, not because you’re doing it!”

That’s a lie. I do what she tells me.

Anywhoo… I thought this might be fun and its not 1oo things (remember those??) so let’s see if I can manage to tell you 25 things about me that you might not have known before.

1. My actual name is Melissa. Someone at BlogHer thought the ‘Miss’ on my blog was a title because it was next to @justonemiss on my badge. It read Miss @justonemiss. So she read it as such. And then asked my name. Ha! So that turned into a thing. So in actuality, it’s really Melissa. But most everyone calls me Miss or Mel.

2. I’ve vistited 25 of the 50 states. 24 of them before I turned 18. The only new state I’ve been too since then was New York.

3. On that note, I’ve only traveled out of the country twice and that was to cross the border to Tijuana (which I don’t think really counts but whatever) and the Bahama’s.

4. I live in California but I hardly ever go to the beach. I think I’ve gone maybe 3 times this year. I absolutely take it for granted as most Californian’s do. We’re assholes like that.

5. I’m a pisces so water attracts me. I absolutely love it, I love the sound of it and (I swear I did not know this about her but OF COURSE I feel the same way) like Nic, I love sitting on the beach on a cold day while bundled up. Looks like we’ll be doing that this winter.

6. Watching TV and movies is one of my favorite past times. I probably watch too much of both but I really don’t care.

7. I love camping and I miss it fiercely.

8. I can’t stand it when my kid’s room or the bathroom is dirty but my room is a total disaster.

9. I don’t care about two things, like could honestly care less: if my bed is ever made (I’m just going to sleep in it that night anyways) and how the toilet paper is put on the roll. Seriously people, that shit is absolutely insignificant unless you have a shitty roll holder. They don’t unroll themselves anymore, stop obsessing about that. Also, if you go to someones house and change it while sitting on their pot because it’s bothering you, you’re a total asshole. Don’t touch my TP bitches.

10. I wash my hands a LOT. They feel dirty a lot. Like, borderline OCD.

11. I love old buildings, city history, and photos of the inside of abandoned buildings.

12. Actually, I’m just a history nerd. I love it.

13. I never play the lotto, even if the jackpot is in the millions.

14. I did graduate from college but I had a baby before I did so I finished my degree from my living room in between his naps and working nights.

15. My degree is in Business Administration. I don’t know that it has ever helped me get a job but I don’t know that it hasn’t either.

16. Some people know this but I feel like everyone should: I hate sushi. I’ve tried to love it but I just can’t.

17. I used to be really good at basketball.

18. People really hate Chuck E. Cheese but I love it. It was one of my son’s favorite places as a little(r) boy AND I like the pizza and their bread sticks.

19. I’ve never had a surgery or been hospitalized. Baby having doesn’t count.

20. But I have broken my right wrist twice. In not so graceful/responsible fashions.

21. I don’t have any tattoos but I can’t wait to get some. I have them planned out and everything. Where’s that pesky money fairy??

22. I love Time Management computer games. Like Diner Dash? Love it. I’ll play for hours. I especially like the cooking ones.

23. I hate Black Friday. I hate shopping crowds, especially frantic ones. But I am thinking of going out to get some TVs this year so what does that say about me?

24. I ask a lot of hypothetical questions so don’t answer that.

25. I strongly feel that one can never own too many hoodies, sweat pants, and yoga pants. I really, really love comfort, even to sacrifice fashion. Sometimes. Rompers, you do not apply here. Or anywhere.

So, got 25 things you want me to know about you?? Link up bitches!

Prior to Blogher, my dear friend who you know as Vdog, forwarded an email to me and Nic to ask if we were interested in going to a movie screening of The Help while we were at Blogher. If it were possible, you would have heard us say “YES!” in unison. We have this very dorky (but oh, so, US!) thing where we read a book and see the movie. From the minute we saw the trailer for The Help, we knew we had to see it. We RSVP’d and it was one of the best Blogher scheduling decisions I think we made.

We both finished the book before the conference (one of us faaaar before the other *cough*) and actually turned down other parties to go to this screening. I don’t regret that decision one bit.

The movie touches on a subject that will always be sensitive, racism. The portrayal of this period in our history, in my opinion, was done well. I didn’t feel as if there were heavy cliches in either direction. The screenwriter did a decent and fair job of translating this story to the screen. If you haven’t read the book, don’t let that hinder you from seeing this movie. If anything, you might want to read it even more after seeing it.

One fair warning though… bring tissues! If you’re anything like me, you will cry during this movie. It’s almost emotionally exhausting because I was literally going from laughing hysterically to crying out in shock and sadness. It was refreshing to sit in a theater and listen to all the women this movie was touching, while I was wiping away my own tears.

I would suggest seeing this movie with women that you love and sharing this event with them. Follow that up with some movie inspired cocktails and you’ve got yourself a girls night out! I couldn’t think of a better way to spend an evening. Luckily, the awesome guys at Snake Oil Cocktail Co. were inspired enough to create some amazing (and SO tasty) cocktails inspired by the movie:

The movie opens today so if you’ve even thought for a second that you might want to see this movie, please don’t hesitate and go see it! You won’t regret it, I promise. Let me know what you thought ok?

Extra special thanks to the people at Dreamworks who put the screening together. Thank you for the amazing experience and the yummy cocktails and food. My opinion is my own and I was not asked to write or promote The Help in any way to be able to see the movie. They are just that awesome over there at Disney.

Blogher 2011 has came and went. Aren’t you thrilled? I promise this isn’t a post gushing about all the awesome things to make you feel jealous. I remember feeling that way and it sucks. This post is just for me to really say what I thought and why I think everyone should go to at least 2 of these conferences in their blogging life time.

When I visited Chicago for Blogher in 2009, I went with one goal in mind: to meet the people who lived in my computer. I bought a party pass only for that very reason. I ended up with a full pass thanks to a friend but I didn’t use it much. I accomplished my goal and I spent some amazing time with amazing people. We saw the city, we bonded, we cried as we hugged goodbye. I have friendships in my life that were cemented by that trip and I’ll never forget it. It’s not everyday you get to see a beautiful city with your closest friends by your side.

This year, I went to San Diego with a different goal in mind. To actually attend the conference. To make good connections. Let me tell you, not only did I get to see some amazing people and friends, I made some awesome connections and was able to talk to some of my favorite brands one on one. I even learned a few things along the way.

Being able to chat with a Verizon rep who absolutely made me love his company all over again was amazing. Meeting the super friendly girls that work for HTC and to have them listen to me was impressive and fun. To be able to tell a representative of Disney how much I love what they are doing as a company was an honor. And I got to do it all with my very best friend by my side. How lucky am I?

The non-conference stuff was fun and being able to meet new people in our community was great. I’m going to have to give the Kiss Our Sass party my award for most fun because they did it right. So many of the parties have gone so very corporate and lost what we all loved about them in the first place (IMO) but the Kiss Our Sass girls had fun and put together a party FOR people, not for the status or the ability to have a really overpriced cake and bragging rights. To top it off, they gave me and Nic the opportunity to meet an awesome single dad blogger, RJ, who later forced us to sit on a toilet with him.

These are only things that happen at Blogher folks.

I’ve been a blogger for a long time. I’ve shared my words because I wanted them to be out there. I haven’t done this for much personal gain, mostly just because I usually enjoy it once I get going. I’ve watched friends be approached by amazing companies, seen them given great opportunities, and knew that because they were dedicated to their writing, they were awarded as such. I shrugged it off because I just didn’t care that much, for me anyways.

When I went to Chicago for my first BlogHer, I left disappointed. It’s silly why but I’m going to tell you anyways. I wasn’t “recognized”. I went and I surrounded myself with all these amazing women who I had been dying to meet, with my friends who I enjoyed spending my time with. One by one, some random blogger would come up and “recognize” them. “Oh you’re so and so! I LOVE your blog!” That didn’t happen to me at all. I was afraid of it not happening again in NY. I dodged that bullet but it makes me hesitate,  still.

I’ve started throwing around the idea of writing more, getting myself out there more, thinking it could benefit me in the long run. It’s almost like when I changed my way of thinking, I started getting invitations to events. (is that how it works? wow) The first two came from my very good friend Lex, who I love and adore. I won the opportunity for me and my son to see Judy Moody in a special screening. The event started at 4:00 in Hollywood, with the movie not starting until 4:30. I knew I would make it to the movie, if I moved heaven and earth. I managed, and we made it and my son loved it.

The reason I had to move heaven and earth? I got off work at 3:30. I work about 30 miles from Hollywood. But I also had to go and pick up my son. If my dad hadn’t met me between our house and Hollywood, bringing him to me, we would never have made it. The second event was on a Sunday so getting there was not an issue.

Tonight, I had to write two emails that started off with “I’d love to be there but…” Both events started during or shortly after I got off of work.

Let’s get one thing clear, in case anyone is confused. I love my job. I love that I have my job. I need my job. I’m also saying nothing negative about mom’s or dad’s who are able to stay home or for other reasons, attend these events. I envy them.

I just wonder when companies, and PR companies that work with them, are going to realize that there are those of us that don’t stay home, that can’t leave work early, but who also really want to be at events like these. I see blogging groups holding lunch events, companies that launch products during regular work hours, or even holding day long things for parents and kids and knowing that I won’t be able to take my son to it because I’ve got to make sure I work enough hours to pay our bills.

Do they realize there is a whole untapped group of us working moms who would love to work with them too? We may work full time outside of the home, but we are here too. We’ve got blogs, we’ve got twitter accounts, and we’ve got facebook pages. And guess what, we have readers and relationships with those readers too. Don’t forget about us because we can’t come out and play from 9-5 or jump on an airplane in the middle of the week to talk about your product or tour your businesses.

I know life isn’t fair sometimes and sure, events will come up that we can go to but they are few and far between. I know I should be grateful to even be invited and I am! I just wish I could say yes more often than I say no.

Thanks to Trop 50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 fabulous wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to help grant a friend’s wish!

Picking 5 of my favorite bloggers was not easy. I have a very large reader and narrowing it down was tough.

Here we go…

Adam of Avitable.com. What can I say about Adam that hasn’t already been said? Sure the whole internet has seen his balls. Sure that’s what he’s known for to some. But Adam is so much more than that. I’ve followed Adam’s blog for years. Before he knew who I was, before we met, before we became friends, longer than he probably realizes. His writing has always fascinated me along with watching the love/hate relationship the blogosphere has with him. He’s really good at pissing people off, not giving a damn, and enlightening us all at the same time. I don’t think my internet would be the same without him.

Vdog of Vdog and Little Man. (shush, she is too a blogger) The thing about V is, she doesn’t blog often but when she does, you really need to pay attention and watch. She doesn’t try too hard, she doesn’t try to impress you with big words or turns of phrase or raaaambling awful run-on sentences that are too long and become almost an entire paragraph (<– heh). She just is. Her words exist, she puts them out there, and they breathe in such a moving way. While I love and adore her for many reasons, her words are like the frosting on top of all that.

Kelle of Enjoying the Small Things. I’ve been reading Kelle for about a year now, after her beautiful daughter Nella was born with down syndrome. Kelle is just a beautiful person, a great writer, and she sees the beauty of this life. I think that is so important. If the blogging world has taught me anything, its that life is short, and small, and its hard sometimes. I’ve seen loss and longing and things so beautiful they would blow you away. I want to live my life and reading Kelle’s blog helps me to refocus on that. She also takes beautiful pictures that I can’t get enough of.

Nic of Red Lotus Mama. Well DUH PEOPLE. I’m not including Nic because she’s the other half of me, although that never hurts.  I’m including Nic because she’s someone everyone should be reading. I’ve watched Nic grow as a blogger in the last few years. I’ve watched her photography grow. As her best friend, I’ve watched her grow as a person. It’s been a lovely ride. Every so often she breaks through a wall in her writing and it makes me so proud to read. She takes her blogging seriously because with everything Nic does, she really puts a little of herself into it. She leaves a bit of herself behind and I don’t see that often with bloggers.

Heather and Mike of The Spohrs are Multiplying. I just love Heather and Mike. They are genuinely incredible people to be around. You know (and I hope you know) how sometimes there are just couples that aren’t only amazing together, but great to just be with? Heather and Mike are a couple like that. (Same goes for Lex and Marco.) Reading their blog can bring any range of emotions on any given day. Some days you laugh, some days you cry, some days both. I can’t read at work because I just don’t know what is going to cause me to literally burst into tears at any given moment. Not specifically from things that are sad but also from the love that bursts from their words on a regular basis. They are the good ones.

I shared 5 of my favorite bloggers with you. Do you have anyone I should be reading?

Don’t forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to support a friend’s wish. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

Although I shouldn’t be shocked by this anymore, I’m always thrown for a loop when the wonderful people on this here Internet come together.

Our girl Piper had her heart shattered. In the process of this, OUR hearts shattered too. We wept, we got angry, we felt all the emotions she felt and on top of it, we felt helpless because we wanted to help our friend. That’s the troublesome part of the Internet, the distance it creates between hearts that love.

So we did what we could. We formed a little militia group. We organized. We plotted. And we’ve come together to love our friend and close the gap of miles between us as best we could.

Piper, we love you. We hope you can feel it.

You are loved. Not just by us:

Amy – Dooblevay
Heather – Soft Skies
Jenny Grace – Miss Disgrace
Melisa – Suburban Scrawl
Melissa – Rock and Drool
Mishi – Secret Agent Mama
Nic – Red Lotus Mama
Diane – Momo Fali
Rachel – A Southern Fairytale
Sarah – Sarahndipitea
Tara – If Mom Says OK
Weaselmomma – World of Weasels