It’s a Blog Hop! Because when Nic says hop, I say “ok fine but I’m doing it because I want to, not because you’re doing it!”

That’s a lie. I do what she tells me.

Anywhoo… I thought this might be fun and its not 1oo things (remember those??) so let’s see if I can manage to tell you 25 things about me that you might not have known before.

1. My actual name is Melissa. Someone at BlogHer thought the ‘Miss’ on my blog was a title because it was next to @justonemiss on my badge. It read Miss @justonemiss. So she read it as such. And then asked my name. Ha! So that turned into a thing. So in actuality, it’s really Melissa. But most everyone calls me Miss or Mel.

2. I’ve vistited 25 of the 50 states. 24 of them before I turned 18. The only new state I’ve been too since then was New York.

3. On that note, I’ve only traveled out of the country twice and that was to cross the border to Tijuana (which I don’t think really counts but whatever) and the Bahama’s.

4. I live in California but I hardly ever go to the beach. I think I’ve gone maybe 3 times this year. I absolutely take it for granted as most Californian’s do. We’re assholes like that.

5. I’m a pisces so water attracts me. I absolutely love it, I love the sound of it and (I swear I did not know this about her but OF COURSE I feel the same way) like Nic, I love sitting on the beach on a cold day while bundled up. Looks like we’ll be doing that this winter.

6. Watching TV and movies is one of my favorite past times. I probably watch too much of both but I really don’t care.

7. I love camping and I miss it fiercely.

8. I can’t stand it when my kid’s room or the bathroom is dirty but my room is a total disaster.

9. I don’t care about two things, like could honestly care less: if my bed is ever made (I’m just going to sleep in it that night anyways) and how the toilet paper is put on the roll. Seriously people, that shit is absolutely insignificant unless you have a shitty roll holder. They don’t unroll themselves anymore, stop obsessing about that. Also, if you go to someones house and change it while sitting on their pot because it’s bothering you, you’re a total asshole. Don’t touch my TP bitches.

10. I wash my hands a LOT. They feel dirty a lot. Like, borderline OCD.

11. I love old buildings, city history, and photos of the inside of abandoned buildings.

12. Actually, I’m just a history nerd. I love it.

13. I never play the lotto, even if the jackpot is in the millions.

14. I did graduate from college but I had a baby before I did so I finished my degree from my living room in between his naps and working nights.

15. My degree is in Business Administration. I don’t know that it has ever helped me get a job but I don’t know that it hasn’t either.

16. Some people know this but I feel like everyone should: I hate sushi. I’ve tried to love it but I just can’t.

17. I used to be really good at basketball.

18. People really hate Chuck E. Cheese but I love it. It was one of my son’s favorite places as a little(r) boy AND I like the pizza and their bread sticks.

19. I’ve never had a surgery or been hospitalized. Baby having doesn’t count.

20. But I have broken my right wrist twice. In not so graceful/responsible fashions.

21. I don’t have any tattoos but I can’t wait to get some. I have them planned out and everything. Where’s that pesky money fairy??

22. I love Time Management computer games. Like Diner Dash? Love it. I’ll play for hours. I especially like the cooking ones.

23. I hate Black Friday. I hate shopping crowds, especially frantic ones. But I am thinking of going out to get some TVs this year so what does that say about me?

24. I ask a lot of hypothetical questions so don’t answer that.

25. I strongly feel that one can never own too many hoodies, sweat pants, and yoga pants. I really, really love comfort, even to sacrifice fashion. Sometimes. Rompers, you do not apply here. Or anywhere.

So, got 25 things you want me to know about you?? Link up bitches!

I am very, very much looking forward to BlogHer.

But fuck, I will be so glad when it’s over.

I don’t know when this conference (for some) and vacation (for most) and opportunity to meet people we all wish we had coffee with everyday (for all), became the next big fucking orgy but I’m just about over all of that. Sure it’s cute at the beginning. Now? Over it. Not “above” it, just over it.

People try too hard.

Oh goodness, with the trying too hard. I see it every. single. day. I see the ass kissing. I see the “teehee we have a secret reallysuperclose frienship and reallyfunny(nooneactuallygivesashit) inside jokes but we’re going to just make all of you feel stupid about it by tweeting nonsense sentences that mean something to one person who may or may not be seeing it but lets confuse the fuck out of the rest of you and hope that you envy us and our super duper awesome and exclusive only to us” bullshit.

Over that too.

Lest I be called a hypocrite, I’ve probably been guilty of this at least once. I never said I was perfect, just almost. And probably a little more than you. But either way.

~ Exclusive Blogher parties? Are stupid. I only know of one (Nikon party. Which, holy fuck I wish I had an invite to it because I have a love affair with my Nikon but what do they care? I’m just a CONSUMER. *cough*) and I think it alienates people when companies do that. Go for the RSVP, first come, first serve type shit. You snooze, you lose. Or even better, get a fucking booth and show your shit off to a hell of a lot more people, some of which might actually have money to afford your product. Because I don’t. But I want to look at the pretty new stuff tooooooo. And dream. Oh, the Nikon wet dreams….(btw, I don’t really need you to explain the purpose of an exclusive party. I’m not a child or an idiot. kthanxbai)

~ Hi. I’m Miss. I write this blog. I want to meet you. Yeah, you, reading. I want to meet you. I want you to say “hi. I’m *fill in the blank*. I read your blog. I follow you on twitter (but you don’t follow me you bitch)(I’ll follow back right then and there, technology lets me, promise).” Give me your card, or a scrap of paper with your URL. No, I don’t want your fucking sponsor’s card. Get that BS outta my face. You want to take a shot? Let’s do it. Pictures? Fo Sho.

~ I’m going to BlogHer to meet people. To cement certain friendships that I hope stay in my life forever. Confirm things I’m learning and have been learning in the last few weeks. There are two “conference” things I really want to see. I want some free shit. Most of all, I want to have a good time. I don’t want drama. I want laughter. Any situation that becomes complicated, or maybe if there’s an awkward moment when something that maybe should have been mentioned a week before but wasn’t and now its happening and whoops —- ah. Stop right there. I’m walking away. All that shit? You’ll be talking to my back because I don’t care now that it’s happening, now that you’re having your freak out moment or even lack of. We should probably just carefully pass one another and not say much. Because I’ll probably end up out smarting you with my words and no one wants that. I sure don’t. I hate drama. Drama is for people with uninteresting lives, looking for an excuse to feel important for even a minute.

~ Oh hey guess what? I’m packing skirts. And sundresses. And maybe 1 sexy dress. And threadless tees. Tank tops. And jeans. And sandals. And shoes that make my legs look good. I’m also getting a manicure/pedicure/and wax on Tuesday and a trim on Wednesday. Why? Not for you bitches. For me. Because I like to wear clothes I feel comfortable in. I like to have neat eyebrows. I like to have bangs that don’t hang in my eyes. I practically need my nails done to function and one of my toe nails has a chip and it makes me fucking crazy to look at. I feel better when I take care of myself and just because I’m not wearing sweatpants all weekend does not make me worried about what other people think of me. If you wanna wear sweatpants, then rock the fucking sweatpants. If you wanna wear designer shit, knock yourself out. Guess what? I can’t tell the difference. I care little about what you’re wearing, except if you mix florals with like verticle stripes or something. Then you’re hurting my eyes and you need to GTFO. Believe me, I’ll be the first to tell you that you look pretty.

Yeah yeah. I’m a bitch. But at least I’m an honest bitch.

And I really can’t wait until Thursday. I just want the weekend to go the way I want it to, with a lot of good memories and even better and new friendships.

Let’s go with the flow. Let’s enjoy each other. Have some fun.

Bring it on Chicago. Let’s do this.

And she is HAWT. Don’t be jealous… she just loves me. Because I send her lots of naughty pictures.

Or is that the other way around? Meh. Either way.

Here we go.

1. You’ve got to choose between public sex where it’s almost guaranteed you’ll get caught, or guaranteed no sex for three months, what do you do?

Please tell me you caught the key word here. ALMOST. Regardless of almost getting caught or not, I would choose sex over none at all at any given time. I mean, I’m not sure how public Zoeyjane is referring to… like a church? *shrug* Either way, I’m pretty down. Plus, when I need to get some, I don’t really let something silly like logistics or location get in the way.

2. If you could be anything when you grow up, what would it be?

Self sufficient. I mean, I work now and I make my own money but I would LOVE to not have to rely on a company that I feel I have no future in. I want to earn my money and know that it’s coming from something that I have earned because I loved doing whatever I did to earn it.

3. What do you want your life to look like in 3 years?

This is such a loaded question. I want the basics. In love. Question number 2 to be in effect or well on it’s way. Maybe in a place where I am considering another child. Really, ultimately, I want to be happy. I’d love to share that with someone special, but either way, I’ll still be doing the best I can at whatever I’m doing.

4. Next three books you plan to read?

New Moon (2nd Twilight book) AGAIN, Memoirs of a Geisha, and… ____________. I don’t know the third. Leave me your best recommendation? (No Jodi Picoult ladies. I’ve read them all.) Thanks!

5. What song is guaranteed to make you cry? Horny? Mad?

This really isn’t fair because music is one of the most important things in my life. I mean, I could write a whole post based on this questions. One of the songs that has been making me cry lately is James Morrison’s You Make It Real. I’m planning on writing a music post for it so I wont say much more. In high school, a song that used to get me turned on like crazy was Ana’s Song by Silverchair. I KNOW what the fucking song is about. I have no idea why that song used to get me worked up but one of my ex’s used to benefit every time it came on. I”m messed up in the head obviously. Meh. I’m stopping here.

So THAT was easy blogging. Thanks ZJ!

If you want to get in on this, I’m taking the first 5 people to ask to be interviewed. And if you come in after the first 5 and can offer me something really good, then I’ll interview you. See the beginning of this post for bribes that work.

That’s me. I am a slacker slash procrastinator like you wouldn’t believe.

You want proof? I was tagged for a meme.

By five separate bloggers.

Kim at Jogging in Circles, DaddyJoe at Daddy Dorkus, and Colleen at Mommy Always Wins all tagged me for that meme where you take a picture of yourself RIGHT NOW and post it. RedLotusMama THOUGHT about tagging me and was bummed that Colleen beat her too it. Also, the lovely Lolita of ModernMom.com tagged me this morning. What the hell did I do to piss off five people so much that they would be SO cruel to me?

WHATEVER. To all five of you.

Here goes:

How frightening. That’s what you get.

Everyone in the damn blogosphere has been tagged by now so I’m not tagging anyone for this.

*

Waaaay back at the beginning of December, my friend Lynette at My So Called Life did a little meme and asked if people would want to participate. I must have been high at the time and I volunteered. I have to list 10 of my favorite things but with a twist. They have to start with a certain letter. That she got to give me.

She gave me the letter P. She thinks she’s funny.

Oh and I’m only doing 5. BECAUSE. I. CAN.

1. Pockets - Think about it. Pockets are SO useful. Things most commonly found in my pockets: keys, my phone, a lighter, those Music Pick of The Week cards they give out at Starbucks, and my credit card. Don’t fucking lie, you know pockets are the shit.
2. Potato Soup – As my lovely girls know, I love me some creamy, thick…. soup. And potato is  pretty damn tasty. I prefer clam chowder, but that starts with a C, which would therefore defeat the purpose of this meme.
3. Pasadena - Specifically Colorado Blvd. Seriously? That street is the shit. It has soooo much good stuff on it. In-N-Out. Yang Chow’s. Lush. Ruth’s Chris (where *ahem* I am still yet to go. Do you know how badly I want to? DO YOU?). Target. Yogurt shops for days. It’s a pretty fucking awesome street. Boulevard? WTF I dunno. Honestly, the first place I’m looking for my apartment this year is in Pasadena. Then that place will be even that much MORE cool.
4. Panera - Honestly, what’s not to like? More soup, the Sierra Turkey sandwich on Asiago Bread which is just YUM and a half, and FREE Wireless Internet. I ask you again, what is not to like??
5. Penis - Now, Lynette knew I would go here. YOU must have known I was going to go here. I mean, would this list, written by me, be complete without me saying that penis is one of my favorite P things?? I know some people may not agree, but penis is just fabulous. There are so many things you can do with it. And so many things it can do for you! I really feel like a good penis is a gift that keeps on giving.

All you people who tagged me for that damn photo thing? CONSIDER THIS ME TAGGING YO ASS. Your letter? Whatever your first name starts with. Bitches.

*

Alright. Since I just said penis 4 (hey! Make that 5!) times in this post, let me show you what Colleen gave me! (Oh, go over there and check out her fab new layout.)

It’s a cute little lemonade stand! That I’m supposed to give to 10 people who have blogs that show attitude or gratitude. Honestly, I cant specifically pinpoint any of my friends who deserve this more than another. So if you leave me a comment on this ridiculous post, go ahead and nab this bad boy for your own blog. Because you are da shit.

*

One last thing… I honestly cannot believe that I’ve decided to do this. Peer pressure, it’s quite the bitch. I joined The Modern Mom Challenge for a Fantastic Year and a Fantastic Me. I know that I’m already pretty fucking fantastic, so really I’m just doing it to get a better looking ass. I’m not going to lie ok? If you want to feel better, look better, and just BE better this year, go join me. You set your own goals, your own deadlines, and meet new people and have fun with it at the same time. Nothing wrong with that right?

So I’m trying to cure my slacker skillz and catching up with things that were assigned to me. New Year, new me?

Why not.