When I went to Chicago for my first BlogHer, I left disappointed. It’s silly why but I’m going to tell you anyways. I wasn’t “recognized”. I went and I surrounded myself with all these amazing women who I had been dying to meet, with my friends who I enjoyed spending my time with. One by one, some random blogger would come up and “recognize” them. “Oh you’re so and so! I LOVE your blog!” That didn’t happen to me at all. I was afraid of it not happening again in NY. I dodged that bullet but it makes me hesitate,  still.

I’ve started throwing around the idea of writing more, getting myself out there more, thinking it could benefit me in the long run. It’s almost like when I changed my way of thinking, I started getting invitations to events. (is that how it works? wow) The first two came from my very good friend Lex, who I love and adore. I won the opportunity for me and my son to see Judy Moody in a special screening. The event started at 4:00 in Hollywood, with the movie not starting until 4:30. I knew I would make it to the movie, if I moved heaven and earth. I managed, and we made it and my son loved it.

The reason I had to move heaven and earth? I got off work at 3:30. I work about 30 miles from Hollywood. But I also had to go and pick up my son. If my dad hadn’t met me between our house and Hollywood, bringing him to me, we would never have made it. The second event was on a Sunday so getting there was not an issue.

Tonight, I had to write two emails that started off with “I’d love to be there but…” Both events started during or shortly after I got off of work.

Let’s get one thing clear, in case anyone is confused. I love my job. I love that I have my job. I need my job. I’m also saying nothing negative about mom’s or dad’s who are able to stay home or for other reasons, attend these events. I envy them.

I just wonder when companies, and PR companies that work with them, are going to realize that there are those of us that don’t stay home, that can’t leave work early, but who also really want to be at events like these. I see blogging groups holding lunch events, companies that launch products during regular work hours, or even holding day long things for parents and kids and knowing that I won’t be able to take my son to it because I’ve got to make sure I work enough hours to pay our bills.

Do they realize there is a whole untapped group of us working moms who would love to work with them too? We may work full time outside of the home, but we are here too. We’ve got blogs, we’ve got twitter accounts, and we’ve got facebook pages. And guess what, we have readers and relationships with those readers too. Don’t forget about us because we can’t come out and play from 9-5 or jump on an airplane in the middle of the week to talk about your product or tour your businesses.

I know life isn’t fair sometimes and sure, events will come up that we can go to but they are few and far between. I know I should be grateful to even be invited and I am! I just wish I could say yes more often than I say no.

Now that I’m not working, the things that annoyed me before, that I could easily ignore because I was distracted from them, are now in my face like, all day.

Enjoy!

~ Fan Pages on Facebook - Guess what? If I wanted to follow your blog’s fan page on Facebook, I would. I would have the first time you asked. I mean, if I don’t I might miss something right? Because your blog is already in my reader and I already follow you on twitter where you spam us every time you write a new post. Your fan page is totally going to give me new information, on top of my following the “real” you on Facebook too, where your twitterfeed is hooked up and you are probably using the NetworkedBlogs app. Guess what? Saturation is complete. No, I promise, it is. I don’t think I need to follow your fan page for you to know I support you. Plus, truth be told, you probably don’t read here and you certainly don’t comment so being your “fan” is low on my list of priorities. Oh and? This is a big one – if I unfollow your fan page, don’t re-invite me. You haven’t even acknowledged my presence in the better part of a year so um, yeah I don’t think so.

~Momspotting - For those not in the “know”, Sprint or some other crappy phone service sent free phones and a chunk of change to some bloggers in exchange for them tweeting about how they use technology in everyday life with their families or something. It’s pretty mind numbing. “I sent a text to my hubby to pick up tampons for me on the way home and I didn’t even have to leave the couch! #momspotting”. I’m totally not kidding. When is that shit going to end? Obviously you are using technology. It’s 2010. Half of us have phones that can access everything our computers can. This thing isn’t breaking any ground here.

~ Foursquare - Go check it out. Go check it out and if you can come back here and show me a GOOD reason why anyone would actually need to use this website, I’ll write a retraction. I’m serious. Basically, I can go to McDonalds and become its Mayor. AND let you know that I’m mayor of McDonalds on Facebook AND twitter and who knows where else. Excited??! Some places offer you free stuff like wifi and potatoes if you are the mayor. Hey! Guess what! I don’t fucking care where the hell you are and I certainly don’t want you to know where I am. If I did, I’d say “I’m shopping at Fresh and Easy bitches!” in 140 chars or less. And know what? It would be exactly the same. No wait, not true. I wouldn’t get a fake badge. Foursquare is completely worthless. Prove me wrong.

~ Words with Friends – UGH. Ok before you iPhone people start spouting off that I have iPhone envy, let me say this: I DO. iPhones are cool. HOWEVER, you are sacrificing good customer AND phone service and I’m not down with that. AT&T sucks major dick and every single one of you with iPhones know that is the fucking truth. Your phone is cool, that isn’t what this is about. This is about me having to see every damn few minutes “I’m so and so on words with friends! Come add me!” I dont know if the app tweets that for you automatically or what but it’s annoying. Also annoying? “.@iPhoneuser totally kicked my ass using ‘rodent’ on Words with Friends today! LOL haha OMG”  or “did you know that WWF won’t take ‘asshat’ as a real word? I totally would have beat @alsoannoying if it would! LOL OMG”. Knock that shit off people. We get it, you have iPhones and are playing Scrabble with them. CONGRATS.

So there you have it. Look at it this way, I have a lot of time on my hands so it’s probably not me, its you.

I’ve been repeating in my head, over and over, “stay out of it. Just stay out of it. Leave it alone. It’s not your fight.” I’ve tried biting my tongue. But damn it, that shit hurts after awhile and I have to say something.

Seriously parents? We need to stop fighting each other.

Moms, I’m looking at you specifically. (Is there daddy blogging drama? Is that like a whole other world I’m not aware of because I don’t have a penis? Or do they just get along BECAUSE they have a penis? I’m not sure.)

Anyways. So this weeks battle is Stay at home moms vs working moms. Oh, but not working moms who don’t have a choice, who NEED their jobs to support their kids. Those bitches be ok. No, this is the working moms who work because they want to. These are the moms who have no problem abandoning their children for jobs.

Did I get that right? I sure hope so.

Please tell me that my readers, my friends, are intelligent enough to see that this is total bullshit right? I mean, this is creating a fight when there isn’t a fight to be had. This is one person’s ignorant opinion, someone who feels they have the right to judge other people with no remorse. And then they get to go on TV for it. And then a bunch of people watch it and say that this person is sticking up for stay at home moms. Uh, what? No. That is not what is happening. At all.

This is an attack. Just an attack to attack and to have fun attacking.

Because that is what some people do. They enjoy the short lived, attention seeking need that is fulfilled by people tweeting about it and writing posts about it. *ahem* They pull the “you don’t have to agree with me card” with an air of superiority and flit on to the next thing they want to poke with a stick.

When is this going to end? It’s hard enough being a parent. Why must we attack each others decisions in life when it comes to raising our kids, or making choices that are going to effect them? Who the hell do we think we are to pass judgement on each other?

It. Needs. To. Stop.

We need to stop acting like the opinions of people who live their life making money off of their hate, is important to any of us. Because it isn’t. But the fall out of these words are.

I work full time. I work full time because I have to. My job is my income. 100%. I receive no money from my son’s dad, as that is our agreement right now. And it should be because we co-parent 100% of the time. I make no money off of this blog with the ONE exception of the SexIs ad, that of which I received a one time payment for having it up for a couple of months. I don’t run ads and I don’t write paid reviews. I don’t work for any other online publications. My 8-4:30 job is my income.

Would I like to stay home? Hell yes I would. But obviously I can’t. Oh, but I don’t fall into this catagory of working moms that we are mad at do I?

Let’s examine that working mom we are supposed to hate shall we? She’s probably married otherwise how else would she be able to work without needing to? Work is her hobby? She decided to leave her kids with a babysitter, or in daycare so that she can pursue a career.

*gasp* How selfish!

No. No, no, no. If she wants to work, then that is HER choice. I especially support that if her kids are in school. One of my close blogging friends has been itching to get back to work and if she did that tomorrow, she would have to put one of her kids in daycare. Does that bother her? A little. What bothers her more is the fact that she is crawling out of her skin a bit to get out and DO something. “Oh but isn’t being a good wife and mother enough?” Fuck that noise. It might be for some, but it doesn’t have to be for all. Some people are programed that way. Should we punish them and bash them in an open forum?

No. Never. Because we are human beings and we should treat each other with respect.

But how easily do we forget that? When we have all the free space to run our mouths, we often forget to be decent with each other.

In the case of my friend, I think it would make her an even better mother and wife and person to be able to do something she enjoys. For some of us, going home after a long day at work is how we unwind. For others, that might be GOING to do work that they enjoy.

We certainly should not judge one another for it.

I often wonder what goes through the minds of people who openly judge other people for choosing to work. I try and define what their definition of a working mom is. Is it someone who goes to an office type setting, somewhere that requires them to leave the house for a set amount of time, earning money for the services they perform?

Then what, someone please explain, is the job description of the stay at home mom who is constantly on twitter? Or maybe at a different conference every other weekend? How about filling their days with blogging events, meet ups, running contests, promoting this, that or the other? Is that not work? Your children are home with you? Are they going out for martini’s at that meet-up in the city? What are your kids doing while you are doing this work? Do you consider yourself a working mom? Would you hire a nanny or the like to give yourself free time to do this kind of stuff?

(FYI, I happen to know and love a lot of people who live and work like this. I respect them. I’m just curious what they consider themselves in this so called battle.)

I have no idea why some people work. Honestly, I don’t really care. Unless you’re going to share some of that cash money with me, I don’t give a shit. Do what you have to do people.

Just stop being so fucking mean to each other.

Bitches, I swear. This is why it’s proven that in any capacity, women cannot get along. Isn’t it time to end that? We won’t because some people still like to be the Mean Girls. The Internet to them is just a solid reminder of how they peaked in high school and now have another way to attack those they see as weak.

We ought to seriously consider putting a stop to it.

But then what would we have to write about?

• Dear angry man at McDonald’s: I totally understand the frustration of not getting what you order in the drive through. I’m one of those people that makes special orders, so I feel your pain tenfold sometimes. But is it really necessary to come storming into the store, demanding your sausage patty? I mean, judging by the looks of you, it is far more likely that after receiving your food, you popped the lid off your Deluxe Big Breakfast Platter and shoved that round little sausage patty right into your mouth. Poor round guy never had a chance. Then you come in and make a big show by shoving your receipt in the face of the poor girl who was lucky enough to help you. Dood. Every McDonald’s breakfast platter (all fucking two of them) comes with a round little sausage. No need to prove to them that you just bought it. They gave you another sausage circle and you turned around and stalked out. But be damned if you didn’t fold that little baby up and stuck it straight into the gaping hole in your head we normal people call a mouth. Fucking Dickface.
• Dear Co-Worker: I still hate you. But the tension in my neck and back has gone down since moving away from you. I can breathe so much easier now. Which just confirms that my problems were YOU. I hate you. You should go away.
• Dear Stomach: Thanks for not hurting as much as you did last week. However, can you please stop being so damn cranky and bloated? Its not hawt. I know your best friend Flo is in town, but dayum, I hate when you two bitches gang up on me. I’m out numbered here.
• Dear Mean Wife: Someone should give YOU the stink eye. You should let your husband play with us. Most of us respect the sanctity of marriage. Most of the time anyways.
• Dear Me: Have you looked in the mirror today? Fucking yikes. Instead of sleeping those extra 10 minutes, take some extra time in the shower and wash your damn hair! Your bangs look like shit and that messy bun is NOT working. Its nappy yo. Also? Slapping on some cover up and some powder does NOT count towards makeup. Take another 2 minutes and get some eye shadow on those lids. You spend enough damn money to own eyeshadow in every color of the rainbow, would it kill you to actually use some of it? Damn lazy cow. And wash your damn car. Its filthy and disgusting. It was filthy and disgusting last week and a little embarrassing too. I’m giving you one day to make it right. Damn lazy, disgusting cow.

Got anything to bitch about?

• The carpool lane. More specifically the people who use the carpool lane, and believe that it is, in fact, the “faster than the fast lane uh, lane”. It’s not. If I get into the carpool lane (which I have to speed up to at least 80-85, just to get into) and I cruise to about 70, don’t get all up in my ass. If you are going to do that, at least have the decency to pull my hair. I had to give the finger to about 4 assholes that had to have been going at least 90. Fuck them. I’m in the carpool lane because I have my kid in the car. There is NO way that I am going to go over the speed limit your speed, just to make you happy. Oh and that pretty double yellow line that you are crossing? Not just to make the freeway all that much more beautiful. It’s there to stop you from going in and out of the carpool lane! Those dashes every mile and a half?? MEANT FOR YOU TO EXIT OR ENTER THE CARPOOL LANE FUCKO!
• My ex. Period. I’m getting sick of his insinuations that I am a whore. Fuck that guy.
• The one day, the ONE FUCKING DAY I decide to wear a skirt, so does my mortal enemy. What the fuck Karma? What did I do to piss YOU off? Oh well, at least mine is prettier. And I bet I paid less. ($6.99! How you like that Ali?)
• Oh and? Fuck you weather. You were in the 80’s on Monday and Tuesday and today I cant see the sky because of all this fog.

Told you it was short. Got anything to bitch about?

• Let me just preface this by saying that I have undying love for Starbucks. If you are a regular reader you know this by now. But I must complain about something that has been regularly pissing me the fuck off about it. The drive-thru. I adore Starbuck’s that have a drive-thru. I really do. However, the people using the drive-thru? Not so much. There should be a rule that states that you are only allowed to order enough coffee for each passenger in the car. 2 people in the car? Two cups of whatever you are having. Simple math right? I absolutely HATE sitting in the drive-thru and seeing that window open up and the barista is handing the driver a cup holder with 4 cups crammed into it. I don’t give a shit if you are the coffee monkey of your office. If Lazy Larry, Sleepy Sara, and Dopey Dave are all sitting at work waiting for their triple nonfat caramel lattes with no whip, that is their problem. Why should I have to wait an extra 10 minutes for 4 special order coffees to be made because you are too lazy to get out of your car?? If you have to order more coffee than the number of passengers you have, THEN GET OUT OF THE CAR AND GO INSIDE. I guess that makes me more angry at Starbuck’s customers than at Starbucks itself. Yup.
• Shoes. Especially shoes in the office. I can handle wet squeaking shoes because they dry and stop making noise after 10 minutes. What I cant handle are cheaply made shoes that squeak when a person walks in them. Girls, you know what I am talking about. If a females shoes squeak, they are probably cheap. I’m just sayin’. I’ve been guilty of this. Lord knows I cant afford expensive shoes. But damn if the shoes I buy are nice and quiet, even if I did get them at Payless. Another thing about shoes, if you insist on wearing heels to work, where we don’t have carpet, STOP WALKING SO DAMN LOUDLY. Have you ever been around people that just walk with so much intent that they thunder through the place? Sheesh, I hear your heels, I know your comin’. Quiet down clacky!
• All this damn rain is pissing me off. Well not really. I dont mind it so much that I mind the PUDDLES I have to walk through. Or the fact that one of my mom’s dogs hates wet grass (I KNOW, same dog needed Prozac a few years back) so he poops on the concrete. Where we all walk. Yuck.
• People who talk to themselves. The only time you will catch me talking to myself is when I am at home cleaning or packing for something. That’s it. If you are at work, keep your lips zipped. Other people do not want to hear you. Seriously. It especially gets on my nerves when they are reading out loud. Just kill me.
• Blogging commandments. More on that later this week.

I think 5 bullets is good for today. I feel better now. Got anything to bitch about?